My motto this year is- be kind. As simple as those two words are, they are very deep too. So I include to be kind to myself. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself for things I would have previously thought should be done by a certain time or a certain way. It’s my house and my life and I have control. Why can’t I do it my way and feel ok about that? So, I’ve decide I am going to do it my way and I’m going to feel ok about it too. Of course, that is to say, I'm not leaving my Heavenly Father out. I will still need his guidance, inspiration, and comfort. That brings about my next thought.
Lately I’ve been feeling more comfortable with my surroundings. This is to say that for a few years now I have spent my days running around in circles all the while comparing myself to ideals or those who I think have it all together or what I would hope to be. And then feeling hopeless and horrible after all my hard work. Now I find myself quietly enjoying some of the disorder around me. I’m not totally organized and I not totally disorganized. I still have goals to be more orderly in all things, and it does need to happen, but I refuse to let myself into the same trap of feeling like it ALL MUST BE DONE TODAY or I have failed. In fact, I will have failed if it did all get done today. I’m surprised by this feeling of comfort I have discovered in my own home. I’m still trying to be ok with signs of life (messes little people make) around me. It will get cleaned up. Some of this I think is due to a few blogs I follow where creativity is a big focus and sometimes I find it difficult to be creative and have order. Sometimes one just has to follow the art while it’s new and fresh in thought and let the clean up come later.
Sometimes, like today, I just had to watch Bob the Builder ( or ToyStory2) for an hour because Isaac wanted me to sit with him. Then he held my hand and I turned to see him with with a pleasant smile on his face as he enjoyed the show. A few years ago I decided that I would not apologize for my messes and for the most part I try to hold to this motto. Sometimes it is what it is. Only I know what I’ve really been through today. And holding his hand today stands out more than anything else. So sometimes the dishes sit all day. I just don’t care anymore
BTW- I watched Ramona and Beezus with the kids tonight. Super cute. I laughed and cried. Very good. Isaac said, ‘That movie made me ‘buppa tired’. Super tired.
2 comments:
Beautiful post! I hate it when I find myself apologizing for my house. I've tried to stop that over the years. I LOVE going to a home where i'm welcomed in, where it's definitely lived in & there are NO apologies for the little messes. I like your goal.
I have a hard time watching kid shows. My kids would love it if I would sit with them. Jason is a pro at it! I'll let him do it.
That's why I like my craft room, where I can just close the door to (most of) the messes!! :) No seriously, I agree with you - it's impossible to have a "perfect" house when there are little ones around being creative and making "constructive messes." But that's the fun stage of life we're in! I too have found that if I run myself ragged trying to make every little space perfect, then that's all I focus on. I feel more content and comfortable if my house can be "lived in" - still sort of clean and sort of in order, but not so much that I freak if something is out of place!
(P.S. It's nice to see you blogging again!)
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